


exile

by mingyunwoo



Series: the party [2]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Minor Kim Mingyu/Yoon Jeonghan, Mutual Pining, Post-Break Up, Song: exile (Taylor Swift and Bon Iver)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:35:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25566787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mingyunwoo/pseuds/mingyunwoo
Summary: It took a while for Vernon to register the name Seokmin yelled. He looks up at the direction he’s waving and sees Seungkwan standing at the porch with a flute of champagne on his hand. Vernon involuntarily stands up straight as he watches Seungkwan gulp the rest of his champagne and leaves the flute on the table near him. Seungkwan takes a look around trying to find a way out. Vernon is aware the last thing they both need is to deal with each other, but they don’t get to have it easy.
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon
Series: the party [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1852801
Comments: 7
Kudos: 43





	exile

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to write Vernon's point-of-view of 'the 1' which was mostly Seungkwan-centric. I wanted to give more depth to their story using Taylor Swift's song - exile. If you can't tell by now, I am obsessed with folklore and if I can I would write a whole series inspired by that album. I just might do it if I get more inspiration. We'll see how it goes. Maybe this is not the end of Vernon and Seungkwan's story. I hope you enjoy this. Let me know in the comments or tweet me @lordemingyu what you think! Please excuse the mistakes in spelling, grammar, or punctuation. I don't have a go-to beta reader yet and I'm too shy to ask my friends to proofread again. I'll fix them when I can!

It took a while for Vernon to register the name Seokmin yelled. He looks up at the direction he’s waving and sees Seungkwan standing at the porch with a flute of champagne on his hand. Vernon involuntarily stands up straight as he watches Seungkwan gulp the rest of his champagne and leaves the flute on the table near him. Seungkwan takes a look around trying to find a way out. Vernon is aware the last thing they both need is to deal with each other, but they don’t get to have it easy.

Seungkwan approaches them and Seokmin gives him a long hug. They exchanged kind greetings and then it was silent. Vernon didn’t want the silence to take over so he asks a general question just to fill the awkward silence and keep the rapport going. The conversation lasted surprisingly long, but it was mostly because no one could shut Seokmin up once he starts with his stories. Not to mention, Mingyu and Wonwoo jumped in on their conversation with their own set of nostalgia. 

For a good 10 minutes or more, it actually felt like they were all just friends having a good time again. Like the good old days when they spend hours hanging out in a pub just to pass time. 

“I need to use the restroom for a sec,” Seungkwan faces Mingyu as if to ask for the direction of their bathroom.

“It’s to the left just by the living room - you can’t miss it.” Mingyu says.

And just like that Seungkwan is off and Vernon subtly watches him walk away from them. They all continue with their stories and laughter but Vernon couldn’t shake off the presence of Seungkwan who was just moments ago physically right in front of him.

“I’m going to get more drinks,” Vernon intercepts. “You guys need anything?”

They all said no and that gave Vernon the permission he needs to go to the kitchen and get himself more to drink. He spots a bottle of wine in the counter and pops it open. He pours it into his glass near full. He gulps it all in one take and then wipes at his lips.

Mingyu walks in on Vernon with both his hands resting on the kitchen counter. “That was actually just for us, but go ahead.” Mingyu laughs referring to the bottle of wine. 

“Oh, shit. I’m sorry.”

“No, you’re not.”

“No, I’m not.” Vernon gives Mingyu a sly grin.

“That’s from Seungkwan, too.”

“The man has taste. I’m telling you.” 

“We’re sorry if we didn’t tell you he was coming. We actually didn’t expect he’d be here. We assumed he’d be too cool to hang out with us again.” Mingyu admits. But Vernon knows that’s a lie. No one is too cool for Seungkwan. Even though he is one of the most famous singers in London right now, he will always have time for them. 

“It’s fine. I kinda expected to see him here. I’m just trying to keep a straight face right now.”

“You?” Mingyu asks and Vernon looks up at him. “Straight? Nah.”

“Shut up.” Vernon laughs. 

“You should talk to him.”

“Yeah, I really should,” Vernon says. “I just don’t know how and what to say to him.”

“Can’t help you with that, man. That’s on you. But I wish you luck.”

“You’re hopeless,” Vernon says as Mingyu walks away.

“ Okay, let’s go back out there.”

“I need to use the restroom first.”

“You know where it is,” Mingyu says as he walks back to their backyard and to their friends.

Vernon walks towards the restroom and knocks but didn’t wait for a reply. He opens the unlocked door and he sees Seungkwan standing inside. His hearts drop but he tries his best to mask it. He didn’t actually expect Seungkwan would still be in there after a few minutes, but he is. 

-

**Then**

Vernon looks through the cafe window and Seungkwan is on the other side of the glass with another guy in glasses. They are both talking to the barista, ordering coffee. He pulls out his phone and scrolls through his contacts to find Seungkwan’s number. He sends him a text asking him to look outside.

It takes a moment but Seungkwan felt his phone vibrate from his back pocket. He pulls it out and Vernon catches a hint of a smile in his lips. It fades as he read the text. He looks to his left to see Vernon standing outside the cafe waving at him.

Vernon goes in and walks straight to Seungkwan. “Hi.” He says without any other warning. The other guy standing beside Seungkwan is surprised.

“Hey,” Seungkwan says. “Is this about your hoodie. I’m going to return it I swear, I just had it washed at the laundry-”

“What? No.” Vernon interrupts Seungkwan. “I just saw you by chance and thought I’d say hi.”

“Oh… okay,” Seungkwan eyes him awkwardly, but couldn’t deny how attracted he is to Vernon. “Hi.”

The guy beside Seungkwan coughs to disrupt their staring contest.

“Oh, right. This is Wonwoo.” 

“Hi,” Wonwoo says and extends his hands to Vernon. “I’m Seungkwan’s friend. Seungkwan who is single and funny and wears cute clothes-”

“Okay, that’s enough. We need to go.” Seungkwan grabs at Wonwoo’s hands and drags him out of the cafe.”

“Hey, wait,” Vernon shouts across the room. “Can we go out sometime?”

“Yes, you can,” Wonwoo right away.

“Shut up,” Seungkwan nudges at Wonwoo. “Text me.” looking back at Vernon.

“Alright!” Vernon replies. Once Seungkwan was out of sight, he puts his fist up in the air to celebrate his victory without knowing he’s in a room filled with so many other people. He snaps back to reality and bows in apology. He walks out of the cafe quietly and a bit embarrassed, but that can’t deter the happiness he feels about scoring a date with Seungkwan.

-

Vernon walks out of the restroom after doing his business and Seungkwan was nowhere to be seen. He strides through the house, into the backyard, around the living room, and even passed by the kitchen, but Seungkwan was nowhere to be seen. It’s a big house but it couldn’t be that hard to look for one person. 

Vernon sees Seokmin speaking with someone. He approaches him. “Have you seen Seungkwan?”

Seokmin looks around to see if Seungkwan’s within eyesight but he wasn’t. “No. Why? What’s wrong?”

“I just want to talk to him.”

“Oh,” Seokmin realizes what it’s about.

“I bet he’s just around here somewhere,” Seokmin reassures Vernon who has taken a seat at a nearby chair. “Relax.”

“Yeah,” Vernon gives Seokmin a weak smile.

“You have time.”

Before Vernon could respond to Seokmin, Wonwoo is tapping a champagne flute with a spoon to announce a toast. People have gathered around the porch as Wonwoo begins the round of stories about his five-year marriage with Mingyu. Mingyu spoke next. Then other people came up to share their anecdotes about the perfect couple, including Seokmin, Seungcheol, and a lot more. 

Vernon frequently looks around and Seungkwan is still nowhere to be seen. 

-

**Then**

“Congratulations, baby!” Vernon practically yells when he heard the words escape Seungkwan’s lips. Vernon is now holding the letter on his hand and he reads them out loud. “‘ _We would like to invite you over to London to join our theater company…_ ’ This is insane!”

“I still can’t believe it,” Seungkwan is pacing back and forth in their bedroom. “This is such a big deal, Vernon. I don’t know what to do first.”

“It really is!” Vernon is smiling so widely and proudly at his boyfriend. “Well, first. You have to respond to them and let them know when you’re available to move and all that stuff.”

Seungkwan begins to frown, remembering the negative sides that entail to the good news he just received.

“No,” Vernon stands up and holds Seungkwan by the shoulders. “No frowning. I cannot have that under my roof. This is a happy moment.”

“Our roof.” Seungkwan snaps back.

“Just stop.” Vernon chuckles. “Don’t think about the bad stuff. We can work through that. Right now we have to be happy for you.”

“But, we need to talk about it at least.” Seungkwan pleads. 

“Okay,” Vernon walks back to the edge of their bed. He sits and taps the space beside him, implying for Seungkwan to take a seat as well. “Let’s talk about it.”

Seungkwan slowly makes his way to the bed and sits down. “What do we do?”

“Well, to start, I don’t want to break up,” Vernon says. “Just putting that out there.”

“Good, because me too.”

“Alright, then. It’s settled. Let’s go back to celebrating.” Vernon leans in to give Seungkwan a hug and a kiss, but Seungkwan pushes him back.

“Shut up,” Seungkwan laughs. “That’s not enough. We have to talk more about it. Do we do the long-distance thing? Do we take frequent travels to and from London? Do you move there with me?” Seungkwan rambles on, but Vernon interrupts him at the last option that resonated with him.

“What did you say?”

“Invent a teleport machine connect London to Korean?” Seungkwan pulls an inquiring look. “I mean, we could but then we have to study astrophysics which is a lot of work-”

“No, dummy,” Vernon laughs. “The other one. Me moving with you.”

Seungkwan is quiet for seconds, contemplating the thought. “I’m not sure I’m okay with you giving up your life here for me.”

“Well, there’s really not much to give up. Really.”

“What do you mean? What about your parents and your sister! You have a stable job! There’s a lot.”

“I don’t think remixing songs for ‘K-pop idol hopefuls’ qualifies as a stable job. I can do that and be with you in London.” Vernon says emphasizing _K-pop idol hopefuls_ but putting up air quotes. “And for my family, they’d understand. You met them and you see how they’re practically begging me to do more with my life. What’s more than moving to London with the love of my life?”

Seungkwan looks at Vernon for a short moment. Vernon looks back at him, hoping he agrees. In all his years of making decisions, he has never made a decision this quick that he’s so sure about. 

“Look, it’s fine if you don’t want me to go with you.” Vernon puts his hands up in defeat. “Good luck finding someone to cuddle you every night even when you say you don’t want to cuddle but you end up sleeping like a baby anyway. Fine.”

“Fine!” Seungkwan says in excitement. “Okay, fine. You’re going with me.”

Vernon grabs Seungkwan and lifts him off the bed. He spins him around two times then drops him but doesn’t let go. He kisses him gently. “We’re going to be the hottest couple in London. I know it.”

Seungkwan could only laugh at Vernon’s remark. Vernon lets him go and he proceeds writing an email to let the theater company know he accepts their offer. He looks at Seungkwan from his side of the bedroom and admires him. He can’t wait to spend the rest of his life with him.

-

Continuous laughter and claps echo through the house as more of Wonwoo and Mingyu’s guests share their stories. Wonwoo has gone to the kitchen and Mingyu is left to do the hosting. Vernon walks from the backyard porch and to the living room.

“Hey, Vernon.” A man calls for him. He squints at him and realizes it’s Joshua with probably a friend of his. Vernon met Joshua about a year ago when he first started his job. Mingyu invited him for his celebration get-together at his apartment.

“Hey, man. What’s up?” Vernon says.

“Doing good. You coming to get a drink? Here take my beer. I’m getting a bit lightweight.”

“Oh, cool. This saves me the walk to the kitchen.” Vernon laughs.

“By the way, this is Jeonghan.” Joshua refers to the man standing next to him. “A friend.”

“Hi.” Jeonghan offers a handshake and Vernon graciously accepts.

Joshua and Jeonghan begin talking about a subject Vernon is familiar with. They keep the conversation balanced with topics that they will all understand, however, Vernon was too preoccupied looking around to see if Seungkwan is around. 

A few minutes, Vernon finally sees Seungkwan. He is walking from the kitchen and makes his way to the front door. Vernon looks at Seungkwan as he puts his coat on and prepares to leave. He contemplates if he should walk over to him and get it all over with, but he is frozen at that moment. All-day long, he had been lacking the courage to do or say anything to Seungkwan about them. It started when he first saw Seungkwan walk towards them, then continued in their moment in the restroom, and it’s happening now as he watches the person he loves walk away from the party. 

Vernon is still standing there with Jeonghan and Joshua talking over him when Seungkwan turns around and looks at him. They hold each others’ gaze for what seems to be an eternity - both of them smiling, not the kind of smile that is showing happiness but content. Seungkwan breaks his hold and walks out, closing the door behind him. 

-

**Then**

Vernon is the first to walk in his apartment and Seungkwan follows soon after. He didn’t bother turning on the lights but Seungkwan did. Vernon rushed to take a shower and give himself time to think about what happened in the last hour or so. 

Seungkwan is visiting Korea for a month and tonight is the last night they have with each other before he goes back to London. Vernon thought it would be the perfect time for him to propose, but Seungkwan thought otherwise. 

Seungkwan goes around the apartment fixing things up, packing some of his stuff, and washing the dishes. He has an early flight tomorrow, and it hurts him to the core knowing this is how he will leave things with Vernon.

Once he ran out of things to do, he walks back to Vernon’s bedroom. Before he takes a seat on the bed, he grabs something from his suitcase and hangs it on Vernon’s closet. The quiet is overwhelming for him. All he could hear is the shower water dropping to the tile floor in the bathroom. It stopped a few minutes later and Vernon walks in the bedroom, dripping with water, a towel wrapped around his waist. He walks to the closet without looking at Seungkwan. There he saw his hoodie clinging on a wooden hanger. Vernon squeezes his eyes shut trying not to let the tears flood his eyes. He puts clothes on and tries his best not to show any sign of weakness.

“It’s yours anyway,” Seungkwan breaks the quiet.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Vernon asks.

“I just think we have different plans in mind.”

“No,” Vernon looks at him. “Stop.”

“Listen, I’m really sorry. I’m not saying no to you because I don’t love you. I’m saying no because I don’t think we have the same priorities. I love you so much and it killed me to see you propose to me hoping I would say yes, but look at us. We barely made it in that one-year long-distance relationship.”

“But we did make it work.”

“Yeah, but it didn’t come without any cost, Vernon. I could see how tired you are when we talk and how overwhelmed you are about having to worry about your new job and then keeping contact with me.”

“It’s no obligation. I do that because I love you.”

“Yes, but can’t you see how it _is_ becoming an obligation to love each other?”

“Are you tired?” Vernon asks.

“Yes.”

Vernon’s heart finally breaks when he heard how easily Seungkwan let go of those words. A huge part of him thought Seungkwan would show a bit of hesitation, but he didn’t. He said yes.

“You asked me to marry you, but did you even think about how we are going to make it work? How are we going to be married if we’re thousands of miles away from each other? I can’t ask you to move back to London because we both know how that worked. And I can’t move back here because I have a career in London, you know that.”

“I guess I just assumed loving each other is enough.”

“Well, it’s not,” Seungkwan admits and breaks into a sob. “I want it to be, but it’s not.”

Vernon sits next to Seungkwan who is crying harder than he is.

“I’m so sorry. I have to be practical. You don’t know how happy I was when I saw you in one knee. In front of the library where I met you, of all places. It made me so happy, but then the future flashed right before my eyes and all I could see was you and I unhappy. And I don’t want that to happen. I don’t want you unhappy.” Seungkwan says in between his sobs. Vernon wipes the tears away from Seungkwan’s face and pulls him close to him.

“I’m sorry, too,” Vernon says. They hold each other in that position for a few minutes until Seungkwan had to stand up and get ready for bed.

When Seungkwan came back, Vernon is lying on the bed facing the window. He hears Seungkwan walk in and looks at him. He smiles and pulls the cover off to invite Seungkwan for a cuddle. Seungkwan climbs in bed and latches onto Vernon in their usual position. He rests his head on Vernon’s chest and his arms are wrapped around Seungkwan. Seungkwan listens to Vernon’s heartbeat and his breathing, taking it all in. 

“Do me a favor,” Vernon says into the quiet. “When you leave tomorrow, don’t wake me up. Don’t leave a note. Just leave. Maybe it would hurt less.”

Seungkwan didn’t have to say anything back. That was enough for him. He closes his eyes and sleeps.

The next day, Vernon wakes up to an empty bed except for him. No sign or trace of Seungkwan anywhere - not even a note. Just as he requested. But the hurt is just the same - maybe even worse. 


End file.
